


Ivory Lines

by tucsoke



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 60's rock band AU, Drug Abuse, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23640406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tucsoke/pseuds/tucsoke
Summary: The psychedelic rock band named First Order was an average garage band until they got an invitation to play at Woodstock. Their new, very British and very strict manager, Rey's only goal is to whip them into shape, no matter what it takes.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I hope you will enjoy this very short chapter! I had a very dark Fleetwood Mac in mind when I wrote the band, and I used Darth Revan and Darth Zannah as the drummer and the lead singer.

_July 6th, 1969_

One thing Rey had to hand to the First Order was that they knew how to make a show. 

She was sitting in a cellar filled with smoke and the intoxicating smell of cheap beer. She knew this pub from before, but she never thought that she would interview a band as a world-famous manager in a rundown shithole like this. She would have to teach them some class at least if they make a deal. 

A few weeks ago, the lead singer of the band contacted Rey through a lenghty letter written on crimson paper. Zannah basically begged her to drop everything she was doing and help them build up an image that people would recognise. She was reluctant to accept the proposal at first. She hated working with new bands. They always thought that they pulled the world out of their ass, and she had no mental capacity to deal with a bunch of bufoons playing dressup with cheap guitars. 

She was quite surprised when all her assumptions were proven wrong. She unwillingly admitted to herself that she may have judged the newbies of the music industry too soon. 

Zannah had enough energy alone to make everyone kiss her footprint. The other two musicians played too good to be only rookies, and she found herself sucked into their world that mainly consisted of corduroy and perfectly nasty guitar riffs. 

No, scratch that.

Rey fucking _fell in love_ with them. 

She made her way to the backstage as soon as they stopped performing. The room smelled like weed and sweat, and Rey quietly thanked her years of practice that steeled her stomach. She took a sip from her beer, then she parted the curtains that led to the band. 

"I hope you are here to suck me off, love. You can stand in line outside for that."

The drummer. Rey recognised him from the photo that Zannah linked to her letter. He wore a smug grin on his face like a pair of diamond earrings, and she tried to meet his attitude with curving her lips into the same condescending smile. 

"Rey Johnson," she introduced herself, sticking out her delicately manicured right hand. "I am not a big fan of handing out blowjobs on the first meeting. I would like to talk business first."

"I am so sorry, Rey." Zannah jumped in front of her, slapping the drummer's arm. "Don't pay attention to Revan. I'm glad you made it. Please, make yourself comfortable."

Rey sat down on a worn leather couch next to the guitarist. He was the only one whose name was missing, and she only hoped he would not mistaken her for a slut too. She lit a cigarette, slowly filling her lungs with the smoke and puffing it out. 

"So," she started, kicking off the ash into a tray. "If I take it correctly, you probably have an important gig coming up. That's the only reason people rush to build up a presentable image."

"Woodstock," Zannah sighed, lighting a cigarette on her own. "We got invited to play at Woodstock festival. We thought that we would succeed with only Hux, but we realised that he's not enough. We knew that you started out with Finn Hendrix, but it was Ben's idea to reach out to you."

"Well, thank this Ben, beacuse we only have roughly a month. A month! We need to start right away."

"Wait, you will help us?"

"I can't let you sink face down into shit. We will discuss payment after we set down our goals and we made a contract. We need to work efficently and quickly."

"There has to be a catch," the guitarist, presumably Ben declared. "You will only sign as our manager if..?"

"There is no if. I live on my savings since Hendrix ditched me for Jeffery."

"Then I guess we have a deal," Revan chimed in, downing his cup. "I'll be going, but keep me updated. Nice to meet you, sweetie."

The air became lighter the moment he left the room. Zannah sat down next to Ben on the edge of the couch, resting her legs in his lap. 

"Who writes the songs?" Rey asked, sipping from her drink. The beer became warm and disgusting, but she had to drink it. She payed for it, damn it. 

"Mainly Ben. I try to help in with the lyrics, but he's our poet. Revan mainly improvises the drums."

"That's great, I didn't even notice. We won't change that, it keeps the music true to your origins."

Ben raised a brow at her, opening his mouth, but Rey interrupted him. 

"However, we have to make up a consistent style. The three of you clash, and not in the great way. I know that you kept Hux as a finance manager, but I need to take a look at that from time to time. We need to schedule gigs, and raise publicity. I have a contact at the _Rolling Stone_ , so I will arrange an article, or even a photoshoot given the fact that you are performing at Woodstock. We need people to have a picture in their heads when they read _First Order_. Usually, this would take months, maybe even years, but we have two weeks to make wonders."

"Do you think it's possible?"

"Nothing is impossible, Zannah. But don't expect eight hours of sleep every night in this month. We have to race against time."

Rey knew she would sweat blood, but somehow she had this feeling in her gut that her hard wok would pay out in the end. She flashed Ben and Zannah a determined smile, and she started to negotiate her payment and the time they would work out the contract.

She would finally have a wild summer this year.


	2. Chapter 2

"I won't wear this," Ben hissed, holding up a fiery red boa. "I won't look like a clown."

Rey's been working with First Order for a week now. She managed to land a sweet full page article in the _Rolling Stone_ for them, but no matter how hard the stylists tried, they had no chance to succeed at forcing some colour into Ben's wardrobe. 

"You'll have to. You currently look like a cemetery staff member." Rey sighed, lighting a cigarette. This man will push her into chainsmoking by the end of their contract.

"No one will take me seriously if I drape this shit around my neck. I have a reputation, and I won't destroy it by looking like a one person circus."

"What reputation, darling? No one heard a single word about Ben Matthews, and this is your time to shine. You either wear what the girls give you, or I will choke you with that boa. We don't have time to play the fancy."

Ben started to get on her nerves. She somehow found a way to brush off Revan's very inappropriate comments and proposals, but she had a hard time dealing with the guitarist's stubbornness. She watched as he unwillingly changed into the denim bell bottoms he receieved. Rey could have arranged a new outfit for him, but she already tested the Tico sister's patience. She harassed Paige on the phone until she gave in and agreed on the article, and she saw the discomfort on her face when she the woman stepped into the small studio. 

"First Order, right?" Paige called with a tight smile on her lips. "A pleasure to meet you. I will have a few words with your manager, then I will get back to you. My sister Rose will prepare you for the shoot."

They inched away slowly from the band while maintaining a fake-friendly conversation. Rey knew that Paige would either bite off her head or torture her in numerous other ways for disrupting her already tight schedule. Paige fished out a small notebook from her elegant purse, preparing it to write down anything that could seem useful for the arcticle. 

"You are one stubborn motherfucker, Rey. I haven't even heard of them, but I was afraid to say no to you. I knew you would arrange it somehow, one way or another."

"I knew you would be mad at me," Rey chuckled, nervously stroking her nape. "I don't think anyone outside the Mos Eisley heard of them, but the point is to gain some publicity."

"Why?"

"They will perform at Woodstock. Saturday, just before The Who."

"Now that's a story right there," Paige remarked, scribbling the words down. "Are they your new pet project?"

"I guess so. I see potential in them, and I can already imagine their name in bold letters next to Jefferson Airplane. Believe me, Paige, when I say they are great, they would sweep you right off your feet."

"I believe you, Rey. But people won't. They never heard of them, and they will brush off First Order as it is. I will write the article, but I will only publish it if you land a few gigs for them in the next weeks. The next issue will be printed at the end of July, and if you succeed, they might even get a mention in the Woodstock special too. Forgive me, but I think in numbers and interest, not promises."

"No, I completely understand. I already drafted out a tour for them, and the festival will be the last destination."

"That's great, Rey. I saw what you did with Hendrix, and I look forward to see First Order show its potential."

"Me too," Rey sighed, placing a cigarette in her mouth. "If you forgive me, I have to make a few calls. A manager never rests."

Rey was no stranger to lying, but outright spatting out that she already arranged a tour for the band was an exaggeration. She inhaled the smoke, slowly making her way out of the room. She has to contact places who would be welcoming in the absolute last minute. She had no knowledge of American venues at all, but she had a brilliant idea. 

She ran to the closest phone, dialing Finn's number. She didn't give a single fuck about time differences. All the midnight calls she received from him flashed into her mind while she listened to the obnoxious humming.

"Finn Hendrix," a sleepy voice said into the phone, and Rey heard the crackle of matches in the background. 

"Rey Johnson."

"Holy fuck Rey, did something happened? Why are you calling?"

"Nice to hear your voice too, Finn. Do you remember the venues you played at in the US?"

"Not all of them, but I guess.. Why?"

"Excellent. I doesn't matter right now. Can you please list them to me?"

Finn told her all the gigs he ever played, and Rey was on the edge of kissing all his toenails through the wire. He saved her a night of sleep. She wrote down the pubs and the cities to a napkin, stuffing it into her purse and preparing to end the line to rush for a map. She had to build up a logical order, then contact all of the owners. She would even harass them in her signature style if they dared to deny. 

"Are you enjoying yourself overseas?" Finn asked her, yawning into the phone. 

"Yeah, I guess.. The climate is awful, but the band I'm working with is great, so I can't complain. You are coming to Woodstok too, right?"

"Last day, last performer."

"We'll meet there then. Good night, Finn. You saved my ass."

***

By the end of the photoshoot, Rey had a bomb-proof plan. They would end up in Bethel on the 15th, having a day to enjoy the festival and adjust before performing. They would have a great number of gigs, starting from the first day of August. She only needs to contact the owners and present the idea to the group. 

"Possible performances?" Hux asked, scaring the living hell out of her. That man knew how to sneak up on people. 

"Yes. We start in here-" she pointed to the first venue "-and end up here. At the festival."

"Admirable work. Don't get your expectations too high. I know them, they won't make it."

"That's why I'm here, right? To help them organise everything. And I need to take a look at the finances too, to see what we can work with."

"Oh, don't worry about it. Nothing. They have literally nothing."

"How come?" Rey furrowed her brows at Hux, shaking her head. "Their record label should support them."

"They should, but we don't have one."

"Then we should look for one. You can basically flush down yourself on the toilet if you are not signed at a label." 

"Discuss this with Ben. He's the one who's forcing the band to be independent."

"I will only discuss something with the whole band, and I will only make a deal with a label if they all agree."

Rey turned to the approaching members of First Order, slowly folding the map while intentionally flashing all the landmarks to them. 

"I hear you don't have a deal with a record label," she proclaimed, packing up her things. "That's what we call suicide, my loves."

"The only company we can convince to sign us is Organa Records, and I refuse to work with them," Ben declared, placing a cigarette in his mouth.

"There are numerous other companies in the industry. You can easily land a deal with any one of them."

"That would limit our creative freedom," Revan objected. "They would make me play written down drum sequences, and maybe even forbid us to play our own songs."

"Now that's some serious bullshit. They would allow you to record your own music at a high-tech studio, market your albums, support you financially and broaden your consumer base. I take it you don't have any recorded songs, but if you would, then you wouldn't get a single penny from the radios when they play it. The labels would set a royalty fee, and you wouldn't have to live on the cheapest canned beans."

"You don't have to educate us, Rey. We know every trick of the industry," Ben hissed, throwing his cigarette in the ashtray.

"Then act smarter. I am paid to help you, and I will contact Sony, Universal and Warner as soon as I get home. I won't sit and wait for the magic. I drafted out a tour too, but we will talk about that when I won't have the urge to break your neck, Ben."

 _Asshole._

Rey stormed down out of the building, rushing to her car. She had to rent one to get around the busy streets of Los Angeles, but knowing that she won't get any payment soon, she would have to cancel it. 

She felt like she's battling an impossible war for the first time. 

Everything was too easy with Finn. He was already mature enough to agree on sacrificing a few of his principles in exchange for success. 

The only thing that drove her to continue was her stubbornness. 

She will see First Order succeed, no matter what.

***

It was already well into the night when Rey finished negotiating with the record labels she aimed to contact. Universal outrigh slammed the phone on her, but she managed to secure a meeting with Warner and Reprise.

She looked through her notes for Zannah's phone number, but she only found Ben's. Of course, the universe wouldn't help her a bit in her damned life. She dialed the number, praying he won't pick up.

"Matthews."

_Fuck._

"Hi, it's Rey. I am calling to let you know that Warner and Reprise Records might be interested in signing a deal with First Order."

"That's great," Ben sighed, not even trying to conceal his dislike. "I got a call too earlier. From Snoke Music Group."

"Never heard of that."

"Me neither, but the man said that we would work out the best possible deal."

"It's strange you get called the same day you declare your distrust with record labels," Rey mused, suppressing a small laugh. 

"Strange indeed. I would have kindly asked him to stop bothering me, but he sounded convincing, so it's worth a try."

"I can't believe you are finally giving in. Maybe my work isn't useless, after all."

Silence. Not awkward, but it was still uncomforable. Rey shifted in her seat. 

"Are you-"

"Do you-" Rey accidentaly interrupted him, and she waited a few seconds before she continued. "Do you happen to know Zannah's number?"

"She doesn't have a phone."

"Oh, alright. Makes sense. What did you want to ask?"

"Nothing important. Good night, Rey."

"Good night, Ben. See you tomorrow."

That man is a riddle. She has to ask around if anyone in her circle knows him. He acts like he walked thorugh hell in the industry. She might even contact her friend in Organa Records to investigate his dislike of them. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Another chapter, big relevations coming in! I imagine Ben behaving and writing songs like Lou Reed, and Poe shoud resemble Iggy Pop with his lifestyle. I try to base the characters on real-life musicians, and I will try to include big milestones that happened in 1969!

Snoke Music Group's building looked like something between a prison and a landfill. First Order, Rey and Hux climbed out of Revan's minivan that got promoted to their official way of transport, and they all sighed out of disappointment. 

It was too good to be true. 

"There's no way I am stepping inside," Revan said, leaning his back to the side of his Volkswagen. "I can smell the broken dreams and roaches just from here."

"Don't be a jackass, you have to come. We won't agree on anything without you."

"Then it's settled. I won't participate. We can go home."

"At least give them a chance," Rey stopped the quarreling of Zannah and Revan. "You won't trust me either if you would see my apartment complex."

"Is this an invitation?"

"Shut up and move your feet."

Ben was awfully quiet since they got the proposal. He was usually very vocal about disagreeing with every word that Rey spoke, but he seemed too accepting. Maybe even nice, and that was a heavy word to use on him. Rey walked next to him, studying his face and turning her gaze away the moment he noticed her. He seemed troubled. His brows were furrowed, but the only thing Rey truly noticed about him were his hot chocolate eyes. She never had the time to truly appreciate his facial features, and she was rather surprised to see he was actually quite handsome without that stupid sneer he always wore. 

"Enjoying the view?" Ben snapped after catching her eyes for the third time. She should have been more subtle.

"I am only worried. We haven't had an argument in a day, and I think you might got sick."

"Maybe there's nothing I need to argue with."

"You always find something to belittle. I don't believe you."

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second, then immediately turning his gaze to meet Rey's eyes. 

"I was thinking."

"That's nice. Care to elaborate?"

"Maybe I misjudged you. And your intentions." He was still walking, but he turned his head to watch his steps. "I know you only want the best for us, and I treated you badly."

"Wait." Rey stopped, forcing Ben to face her again. She wanted to see and remember his expressions the moment he apologises. "Are you admitting that you were wrong?"

"Don't get too confident. I am talking in maybes here."

"Apology accepted. Now let's see what this Snoke has in store for us."

Their surroundings became fancier the moment they reached the label's offices. They walked on a long and very velvety red rug that led them to Snoke, ending in a two-winged door carved from ebony. Rey opened it, not caring about the assistant who was telling them to wait. She has to make this Snoke feel like he would depend from them. Her number one tactic was to establish a fake superiority for her clients. That way, the labels won't mess with the bands. 

But all of her confidence evaporated the moment she met Snoke. 

That man was well in his sixties, and Rey wouldn't have even argued with anyone who said that he was already dead. 

There was something unusually unsettling about Snoke. His lifeless grey eyes were piercing right through her soul. 

"We came for an appontment," she declared, gathering all her courage. She's going to need it.

"Right on time." The man stood up, curving his almost grey lips into a tight smile. 

Revan was right. They should have ran while they had the opportunity. 

"Take a seat. I presume I am meeting First Order and their representatives. My name is Alfred Snoke. It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

"I'm Rey Johnson. Their manager," she said firmly. "This is Zannah, our lead singer. Revan, our drummer and Ben, our guitarist. Also, this is Hux, our bookkeeper."

"I can finally meet the legendary Rey Johnson! An impressive bunch you gathered, I might say. Especially Ben, it's great to see you back on your feet again."

Rey shot a questioning glance at him, but Ben kept his eyes fixated on Snoke. 

"Let's don't waste each other's time. I called you in to secure a deal. One of my associates heard you play, and they told me your music is promising. I would like to offer you full creative freedom, a decent cut from royalties and monthly performances in noted venues."

"In exchange for what?" Revan inquired, softly chuckling. "Selling our souls to the devil?"

"No, dear Revan. We only ask for quality. We already have a contract drafted, you would only have to sign it."

"I would take a look at that first with a lawyer," Rey interjected, already stuffing the papers Snoke held out to her in her purse. "Thank you for the opportunity and your time. We would call back as soon as possible."

"Come, please. I like to negotiate in person more."

"Then we'll meet again to discuss the rest. Have a nice day, Mr. Snoke."

Rey's intuition told her to shred the contract into pieces as soon as they left his office. Still, she found herself studying it in the van while they made their way back to Zannah's flat. 

"This seems fishy. You would need to give credit to the songwriters at Snoke Music Group, even if you made the song all by yourself."

"Do you really have a lawyer?" Revan shouted to the back, tearing his face away from the road for a second. 

"I don't, but I have a friend who got his fair share of bad deals himself. He can help us to spot every scam in the contract."

Rey flipped her notebook to the page where she stored all the handy phone numbers, circling Poe Dameron's name with a red pen. She would call him as soon as she gets home. She haven't talked to him in a while, but she knew for fact that he moved to Los Angeles a few months ago. He really catched the goldfish with his new album. She only hoped he would somehow squeeze her into his probably tight schedule.

"It can't be that bad," Ben said, scratching his chin. "I mean.. He offers more than any other label. Warner would probably give us a ten percent royalty rate, and they would call it a great deal."

"That's why I arranged multiple meetings. We won't rest until we find the best. Maybe even Poe can help us."

"Wait," Zannah exclaimed with sparkling eyes. "Are you talking about Poe Dameron? _The_ _Poe Dameron_? The one who was playing in the _Iguanas_?

"I've never heard of the reptiles, but yes. He was the one who introduced me to Finn Hendrix, and the rest is history."

"Oh. My. God. You have to bring him to us. To listen to our music, if he has time. No, scratch that. I would probably collapse on the spot."

Rey started to laughont Zannah's adorable excitement. She folded the contract back into her purse, but she caught Ben's eyes in the process. She has to ask him about what Snoke meant by 'seeing him back on his feet'. 

Maybe she could even ask Poe first. There would be no harm done, and he would be more honest with her. He knows everyone in the music industry, so he probably heard of Ben Matthews too.

***

"Rey? Rey Johnson? Haven't heard from you in a while, but I'm glad you called me! I have so much to tell you-"

The only thing Rey absolutely disliked about Poe was that he talked too much. He was very sugar, spice, down to earth despite his success and everyhing nice, but that man knew how to drive her crazy with the endless flow of his words. She listened to him rambling about his life and L.A., and when he reached the "we should meet up" part, she flicked into business mode. 

"That's exactly why I called you, Poe! It would be great to have dinner with you. I really miss you, and maybe we should catch up on a few things."

"That won't be easy. I'm not planning any trips to London anytime soon."

"There's no need for that. I am in Los Angeles right now."

"How come?" Poe asked her, genuine curiosity hiding in his voice. 

"I am managing a band called First Order. I actually called you up for advice on a record deal contract."

"Now _that's_ my forte, honey. I'm glad you asked for my help. I am free tomorrow if that's great for you."

"Perfect. Thank you, Poe."

Rey lit a cigarette while they discussed the place and time. She was glad that Poe would be willing to help her in such a short time.

As soon as she ended the line, her phone rang again.

She ignored it, wobbling out to the kitchen for the cheap bottle of wine she bought the day before. Only half of it was left, and she already downed a glass when the ringing ended. She kicked down her heels and made herself comfortable on the squeaky couch when the phone started to ring again. 

_Stubborn motherfucker._

"What?" she picked it up, answering with the angriest tone she could squeeze out. 

"I got my date for the Canadian trial. December."

It was Finn. And Rey knew from his voice that he was high.

"I see those nasty drug charges won't keep you away from rolling a few spliffs."

"I need sympathy, Rey, not lecturing. Yes, I smoked weed. But I did it to have a fucking eight hours of sleep after three months of turning in bed."

"What time it is in London?" she asked him with a softer tone. She was neither his manager nor his mother. She was talking to him as a friend, and she had to remind herself every time he called her up. 

"Midnight," he sighed, and he hesitated for a moment after speaking again. "You believe me, right? They planted those drugs on me. I am not stupid. We got the warning that they might check us at the airport, and I threw away everything I had. I don't even do heroin."

"I know. I believe you. But please, stop. You have no idea when the authorities will drop by to do a drug test. You have to understand this, and I am telling you to stop because I care about you."

"Jefferey told me the opposite. He gave me the weed."

"Jefferey can suck his own dick. Please, be careful. And look for a new manager as soon as possible. He might even be the death of you, and I'm not joking."

"Thank you, Rey."

Tears prickled her eyes as she downed the rest of her wine. No matter how much she loved Finn, she knew the darker side of him. She saw what the drugs and the alchocol he consumed made him do. He became almost a predator when he mixed narcotics. 

However, she still believed him. She just knew he was right, and he wouldn't lie to her. 

"You're welcome, Finn. But don't you dare to call me up at night again. Sleep."

***

The dinner with Poe took place in an Italian restaurant. In fucking Hollywood. 

Rey crossed her arms in front of her body the moment she stepped inside. Mainly beacuse of how nervous she was, but she tried to cover her too old and too sallow dress this way. She was severly underdressed, and she thanked Poe for choosing a table in the farthest corner of the place. She would have embarassed him with her looks. 

"You could have warned me to dress nicer, Dameron."

"You look heavenly, Rey. You shine brighter than the sun." Poe flattered while clapping for a waiter. "Two glasses of your finest red wine, and the menu, please."

Rey ventured into the business part of their meeting the moment Poe gulped down half of his drink. She fished out the contract from her too worn purse. She looks like a walking disappointment.

"We met with Snoke Music Group yesterday. He promised full creative freedom, and everything else that would be too good to be true. I am not great with numbers, but I already spotted a few concerning details."

"Even the first pharagraph is awful," Poe sighed, turning a page. "With simpler words, you would sell the name First Order to him. If you happen to find a better deal, you would need to find another name too. As a friend, I advise you to stay away from Snoke. And I do the same as a musician. He's a scam, and I saw people sucking a forest of dicks after they signed with Snoke Music Group."

"Then I guess I need to contact Warner for that appontment again."

"Or you could start with me."

"What?" Rey asked back. She lost her manners from her astonishement, and she took a sip from her wine to hide her blush. 

"I am currently thinking about founding my own record label. Think about it. Dameron Records. Or even Black Squadron Industries, as a homage to my origins. The latter sounds awful, but we will work it out. You could even help me to establish the basics. With your experince and name, we could easily best Motown."

"Now _this_ is unexpected," Rey laughed awkwardly. A fucking work proposal. From fucking Poe Dameron.

"I don't know how much you get from First Order, but I will pay double. And you wouldn't even have to abandon them. They would sign at our label, and you could be their manager while working with me."

She had to take a few breaths to process everything she heard. It would be a great step for her career, but she was afraid to put the success of First Order on the line for money. She chuckled at the thought of Poe promising double payment. You can't multiply zero. 

"I have to think about it. And there's no way I will let you name it Dameron Records if we decide to launch it."

"Dameron-Johnson," he winked, digging into the ravioli he ordered. 

"No way. We need something catchy. To make people remember our name."

"This is why I would love to work with you, Rey. You are young, and you are full of fresh ideas. I'm afraid the only thing that's keeping me alive in the indutry is my charming face."

She smiled into her wine. While she was waiting for her garlic soup to cool down a bit, she decided to bring up Ben. She only had to figure it out how to approach it. She constructed a clever and very subtle plan while shredding a piece of toast into pieces, but there was no need for it. 

"Something on your mind?" Poe asked her between two bites of his meal. 

"Do you know a musician named Ben Matthews? Tall, black hair, mid thirties, quite broody, possibly living with a dark past."

"You mean Solo?"

"No, Matthews. I think. He might have beef with Organa Records."

"Definitely Solo. Why?"

"When we were at Snoke, he mentioned that he's glad to see Ben back on his feet again. I wanted to ask him, but I knew he wouldn't tell me the truth."

"And you think I would?"

"You can't resist me. You said it earlier that I shine brighter than the sun."

"Alright," he gave in, smiling. "But this is very confidential. You can't bring this up ever if you talk with him, or you might lose that small amount of trust that man can develop. He's the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo."

Rey's jaw dropped. She would have never figured this out on her own. 

"We worked together for a while with Ben, but we both got sucked into.. Into drugs. We started doing heroine together. I know, we're idiots, but it was great for the music. While I stopped there, he tried everything he got his hands on. One day, when I visited him to drop off a few records, and I found him half dead. He overdosed on cocaine. I called the ambulance, and while he was knocked out, his uncle arranged a place for him in a secluded rehab in Switzerland. He spent almost a year there, but I only heard that he cut all ties with his family when he returned."

"Fucking hell," Rey stammered, pushing his soup away. "Does Leia know what he's doing right now?"

"That woman has access to all the private investigators in the world. I am sure she found out somehow. But maybe you should ask yourself." Poe gestured to the door with a huge grin.

Rey turned around, and she found herself facing the most ethereal human being she ever met. Leia Organa, in all her glory, and with her arms looped into Han Solo's arms. 

"Let's say hi to them." Poe stood up, already making his way to the door. "Smile like you don't know anything. I certainly never exposed their son over dinner."

Leia's face lit up the moment she noticed him. She hugged Poe, and he shook hands with Han, but both of the legendary musicians looked confused when Rey stepped to them. 

"Let me introduce you Rey Johnson. She was the manager of Finn Hendrix, and she's going to be my future business partner."

"A pleasure to meet you, darling. I already heard about you, and I can finally link a face to the name. Who are you representing currently?"

"First Order," Rey said with a proud smile. "They are quite rookies in the industry, but I have faith in them."

Leia's face froze for a minute. She forced her smile back, but she immediately excused themselves. 

"I think you have an answer now, sweetie. They certainly know about Ben playing in First Order."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I fixed some typos in the previous chapters because my dumbass wrote Rolling Stones for the magazine everywhere. I plan a huge jump in time for the next chapter, so we will begin the tour! I hope you will enjoy this installment!

It was hard to get rid of Poe Dameron. 

Rey was grateful for his help, but they would have stayed at the restaurant until closing if she hadn't lied about having something very important to do. Poe decided that she was too drunk to walk home, and even though she objected, he insisted on calling a taxi for her. She thanked everyone in the sky later, because her boots were definitely not made for walking. 

Her phone started to ring the moment she entered her apartment. She wobbled to her couch, and picked it up while curling into a more comfortable position. 

"Rey Johnson," she yawned. She could have fallen asleep at any minute. 

"Rey? It's.. It's mom. I got your number from your old boss."

Her heart stopped for a second. She sobered up completely. She haven't spoken to her in two years, and last time she only asked for a decent amount of money to pay off the mortgage on their house. She later learned that her parents drank themselves into oblivion, and they lost their house. 

"Why are you calling me?"

"Are you not happy?" her mother asked, sadness straining her voice. She deserves a fucking Oscar award for her performance. 

"I am very sorry Helen, but I am not particularly overjoyed. Moreover, I am fucking pissed."

"You were always so smart with the words. I hear you live in Los Angeles now. Must be a real hustle."

"I am asking again. Why are you calling me?"

She was getting impatient. Rey knew that she would only ask for money. 

"Your father is dying."

She didn't know how to respond to that. She closed her eyes, and even though she completely despised her parents, she felt the tears choking her. She won't cry. _She won't cry_.

"He got diagnosed with cancer," her mother continued. Her voice was weak. "He.. He only has a few weeks left. He would like to see you one last time."

"Why?"

"Because you are his daughter. And he loves you."

The compassion started to work in Rey. She gave in with a sigh. 

"When can I meet him?"

"Anytime. He's not going anywhere, after all. Also.. If you come, can you please loan me some money? I know it's inappropriate, but I need to cover the expenses-"

"Unbelievable," Rey interrupted her. She knew she shouldn't have lovered her guard with this woman. She was always like this. "You dare to use his disease just to get some cash?"

"It's not like that, Rey. Your father would die without that money."

"You just said that he only has a few weeks left. He won't live longer from a few pounds. You are killing him. Alcoholism and smoking is killing him."

"You ungrateful little bitch," her mother growled into the phone. "We raised you up and this is all you have to give? Nothing? You are not thinking about your family. You are living in luxury overseas, and you won't give a few bills away?"

"Goodbye, Helen. Don't call me again."

Rey slammed down the phone. 

She probably did it wrong. She should have agreed on her terms.

She looked around the room, her eyes carefully examining every piece of secondhand furniture.

_She is living in one hell of a luxury._

***

Rey woke up on her couch. Her neck was twisted in an odd angle, and she was crankier than ever.

She stayed up until four in the morning, her roaring thoughts not letting her sleep. She was thinking about her parents, and spinning through all the different outcomes of that call. When she finally reached the part that her plane would crash with another, she fell asleep. 

Then three hours later, she had to wake up. 

She was already late, and she didn't even bother grabbing breakfast. She gulped down a cup of mud-tasting coffee, and she rushed out of her complex with a cigarette in her mouth. She really should quit smoking for the sake of her own health. She was disappointed in herself that she was out of breath after running for two minutes. 

She reached Zannah's place half an hour after the time they agreed on. She threatened them to respect dates and deadlines, and now she just made a fool out of herself. She kept her sunglasses on to maintain a kind of acceptable appearance. She looked like shit, but the band didn't have to know about it. 

"We have a lot to discuss." Rey rushed in. "Wait, where is Ben?"

"He dropped in to say he felt a bit under the weather," Zannah sighed, exhaling the smoke. 

"Too bad. He can't question every sentence of mine. Poe looked through the contract. It's just as bad as we expected. You would basically sell your soul for nothing. Good news is that Poe proposed a better idea. He wanted to start a recording label, and he would love to sign First Order."

"But that would take time, right? Until then, we would operate with zero money," Revan said, furrowing his brows. Rey was pleasantly surprised. He finally took something seriously. 

"That's right, Revan, We need to work out that part, but we have that tour. He helped me secure all the venues. I guess we could borrow your van, and I will pay for the gas. We will settle that later. We could stay at motels. This way, Paige would publish that article in the _Rolling Stone_. This means publicity, a bigger audience at Woodstock, and possible future sales. Which takes us back to Poe's record label. He would surely establish the base by then, which means we can start recording. And if we have recorded songs, that means radios and record stores."

"Wow," Zannah huffed with sparkling eyes. "You really planned this out."

"I actually didn't, but thank you. I know you have songs that Ben wrote, and they sound great. Can I listen to them sometimes? We need to sort out the ones that we need to record as singles."

"I guess so. But we need him, of course. I think I should visit him-"

"Don't bother, Zannah," Rey interrupted. "I will call him. Or maybe even _I_ should visit him."

***

Later that day, Rey received a call from Poe when she was looking through the finances. She spotted a few concerning details, and she underlined them with a red pen as they were speaking. 

"I found the perfect place for our little company," Poe announced with an excited voice. "You are going to love it. It's all windows, and it's on the top floor of an old office building."

"That sounds lovely," Rey sighed halfheartedly. She was still calculating. Something is very wrong. 

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I am just looking through the registration. It just doesn't add up. Every damn time the band gets money, a certain amount just disappears."

"How much exactly?"

"Always around a hundred dollars. I'm even surprised that they have that much money."

"Just the price of a gram of cocaine."

"What?"

"You heard me right. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I would keep a close eye on Solo."

"That can't be. He's clean, isn't he?"

"Maybe. I would still look out for him. And I'm saying this because I know him and I'm worried."

Rey ended the call soon after. They arranged a meeting at the place Poe found, but her mind was spinning around Ben. Maybe she sould really give him that visit. 

She flipped her notebook to the page where she wrote down their adresses, and she called a taxi. She tugged the small black book into her purse, ready to swing it in front of him if she notices something wrong. Working with Finn meant learning how to recognise the effect of drugs on people. She carried out a few bad acid trips with him, and she knew exactly what to look for when suspecting cocaine. 

All the dilated pupils and empty gazes falshed into Rey's mind while the car rushed through the night. She arrived to Ben shortly after she finally cleared her mind, and she was quite surprised by the neighbourhood he was living in. 

It was awful. 

No, _disguting_. It was completely disgusting. She was even surprised that this part of the city existed. Those documentaries on the City of Angels were quite deceiving.

She rushed away from the piles of junk that surrounded the taxi, and she started to search for his place. It was a small, white house. The cleanness of it stuck out, and she stepped into the tiny front garden. Rey knocked on the door, and she waited for it to open. 

"Rey?" 

"Hi. Here to check on you. And I have news."

"You could have called me."

"I could have. But I didn't. Can I go in?"

Ben unwillingly opened the door wide, and Rey slipped in before he changed his mind. She looked around the room she arrived into. Every little piece of clutter was just in the right place, and every inch of surface was polished clean. She settled on the black sofa. 

"We are going to reject Snoke's proposal. He wants the band to sold the name First Order to him completely, and Poe calculated a bit so it turns out that it wouldn't be great money-wise either."

"Too bad," Ben sighed, stepping away into the kitchen. "Do you want a drink?"

"No, thank you," she said while scanning the table. She should really stop and just trust him.

The latest issue of the Rolling Stone was thrown on it, and a used cofee mug was sitting next to the magazine. His ID was sitting on the table next to his wallet. 

_His ID._

She carefully moved closer, and she inspected the surface. She was the traces of wiping on the glass, and she ran her little finger in the edges of the card. She pressed her finger to her gum, and the spot numbed after a few seconds. 

Poe was right. 

_Co-fucking-caine._

"I looked through the finances," she started when Ben came back with a glass in his hand. She has to do this cleverly. "I spotted something very odd. Some money disappears from time to time. Do you know anything about it?"

His face was blank. She had to crack him somehow. 

"I'm afraid I don't know. Have you asked Hux? I am sure he can help you."

"I don't think there is a need for that. You may know more about it."

Still nothing. He sipped from his drink, holding eye contact. 

"As I said it earlier, I have no idea, Rey."

"Clean the cocaine off your nose and then lie to me. I know everything about your past. Suspicion never sleeps, you know."

He wiped his nose with the back of his hands in a hurry. She knew. She fucking knew. 

"It's funny. Poe told me everything. I trusted you, and I trusted that you are clean. And I even thought that you wouldn't steal money from your band."

"How dare you dig up dirt on my past? What do you want? Blackmail me? This a fine opportunity to stuff your little pockets, right? I assure you that I lost everything. There is no need in trying."

"Don't think you have the higher ground here, Ben. Stop acting insulted. I only worry about your wellbeing. I couldn't stop Hendrix, but I won't let you make the same mistakes again. And I won't let the band go bankrupt because you fancy sniffing some powder."

"Maybe you should just care about your own fucking life and fuck off, Rey. I know a few things about you too. I know about your miserable little family, and I know how much dicks you sucked to get where you are now."

Rey stood up, walked to him calmly a slapped him. It was one of those slaps that you only give in certain special situations, and he almost even asked for it. He won't talk about her like this. 

"My name is known worldwide because I do my job fucking great, Ben Solo. I never used sex to get what I want because I have willpower and I work to reach my fucking goals. Sober up. I hope you choke in your sleep."

She gathered her belongigns and looked for the door. Her tears started to run down her face the moment she escaped the house. No one would belittle her or use her family against her. She stumbled out of the street, looking for a payphone or a taxi. She ran to a little blue box, but the phone was ripped out from its place. 

She was fucking stranded in the middle of the night. 

_What a time to be alive._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading this absoulte dumpster fire. I based one certain character on the one and only Penny Lane, and I would like to point out here that this Ben is the pre-Kylo Ren Ben. I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

Rey was bathing in the sunshine. It was one of those moments she knew she looked decent. Beautiful, even. 

She was staring out of the huge window in front of her. She saw every little corner of Los Angeles from there, and she felt a sudden blow of homesickness. She couldn't have even seen the end of the street back in London by the clouds. 

"Isn't is pretty?" Poe stepped next to her. They had to reschedule this meeting a lot in the past week, but she finally made it. 

"It is. I can imagine working here."

"I knew you would love it. I already paid off half the price."

"You did what, Poe?" Rey snapped, turning to him. "You are insane. What if this whole Resistance Records thing won't work out?"

"Then I will re-educate myself into a professional businessman. I am getting old for the music industry," Poe chuckled, but he flashed a reassuring smile at Rey. "Don't worry. I talked with Leia, and she said she would be interested in investing. Resistance would be the lesser known branch of Organa Records, working with fresh and very naive bands."

"Just like First Order," Rey sighed, walking aimlessly in the empty space. "She's clever."

"Any luck with Solo?"

"Nothing. He only talks to me when it's necessary. I really fucked up, Poe. There is no way I can make this right."

"Maybe. Or maybe you can. Apologise to him."

Rey snapped her head back at Poe. She was insulted. She felt like Poe just hit her with a truck, then ran her over six times again just to make sure she's crushed. 

"I won't plead for forgiveness just because I tried to save his stubborn ass."

"Not that part. Apologise about confronting him in his own house, and assure him that you will worry about him in private. Trust me, this is exactly what he needs."

"No," Rey said firmly, stomping her feet. "I won't act like a doormat just because his fragile masculinity shattered. He can continue his brooding, but I will make sure he won't fuck up the tour."

Poe let out a small laugh, but he immediately suppressed it when Rey gave him a death glare. She's not joking. She would choke Ben Solo with her own hands if he pulls anything that would jeopardize her hard work. 

"When will you start?" Poe asked, following Rey around in the building. 

"Tomorrow. I should really start packing and preparing mentally. Also, thank you for manipulating the owners into inviting us. We had zero money to rent those places."

"Anything for you, babycakes."

"Also, I think we should set up a no-nickname policy in the contract," she shouted back from the elevator, but she was laughing. 

She really got used to Poe in the past few weeks they started to actively talk and go out. 

She catched a taxi. She started to think about the tour itself on the way home. She really needs to pack her most attractive clothes to teach everyone that she's ruthless _and_ hot. Maybe she should also talk to Ben. There is no harm in it. Or maybe there is, because she could dig her own grave with the wrong words. 

Rey huffed out a weary sigh, and she handed the bills to the driver. She's really not saving any money with taking the taxi. She missed the car she used to rent, but she had to make serious cuts on her own budget. Even with this whole tour thing, she would have to live with a bank account that had 56 dollars on it for a few weeks. 

But this was a sacrifice she was willing to make. 

Maybe abandoning her pride and talking to Ben Solo would be one of these sacrifices. 

***

Rey slept suspiciously nicely. She haven't even woken up once, and it was a miracle. 

She's been having nightmares again since the day her mother called her. Helen truly stirred up her life again. Tha woman won't even give her piece from the grave. 

She slowly sipped her morning coffee while smoking a cigarette. She was staring out of her window, thinking about all the possible outcomes of this tour. 

They kill each other one day in, marking themselves into history as the band _to die for._

It would be a huge flop, and people won't even give First Order a chance. 

The band would succeed, and ditch Rey the moment they get invited into their first live TV performance. 

The possibilities were endless, yet she still felt a familiar knot in her stomach. Something would go terribly wrong. She couldn't pinpont out which part of her plan was too weak, but she still knew they would come out as different persons from this experience. 

A loud horn woke her up from her musing. She stared down to the road, and Revan's Volkswagen glided into the parking lot of her aparment complex. She grabbed her belongings and rushed down, ready to tear his ears off. 

"Revan, it's five in the morning and all of my neighbours were sleeping," Rey scolded him the moment she climbed into the van. He had a great mood, and she tried to boost herself up too.

"They shouldn't because we're going to conquer the fucking world! Or at least these few states, but I already feel all the girls by my side and all the weed in my lungs."

"And we really trust you enough to drive," Zannah rolled her eyes, curling up in her seat next to Rey. "Please, let me sleep. I need to be presentable for tonight. Where are we playing?"

"Carbon Score. I have no idea if it's great, but Hendrix played here."

"And you weren't touring with him?" Ben asked her. Something more than two words. It's a progress. 

"I was, but I never made it to the pubs. I was either hiding the drugs from him or CPR-ing his girls."

Revan turned around for a moment, flashing a sympatethic look. "It sucks to be a manager."

"Not really, but I want to get drunk tonight. You know, for celebrating."

"I agree. The drunker the better," Hux sighed, folding out the map. "Four hours and we're there. But.. If we're this close, why are we already on the road?"

"It's better to arrive early. You can get used to the place, maybe talk a little with your audience.. And because I said so."

"Very professional answer," Ben mumbled.

She's going to punch him again. No more diplomatic kindness. 

***

After packing down, they arrived two hours early to the venue. The band had enough time to set up their equipment and even get to know the act before them. Rey had decided to leave them be until the usual pep talk she likes to give, and she bumped into a group of girls on her way out. 

"How did you get in there?" the girl closest to her asked. All of Rey's confidence just evaporated when she spotted that ginger beauty. Even her burgundy corduroy pants looked ridiculous next to her. 

"I am their manager," she declared firmly, flashing a strict look at them. None of the girls looked more than seventeen. 

"And is there a way you could just.. Let us in?"

"Absolutely not. I won't let _groupies_ disturb the band."

Rey's jealousy made her say the word _groupies_ with such disgust that she even scared herself. The girl tucked her perfectly wavy hair behind her ear, her lips forming into a condescendent smile. 

"I am very sorry to correct you, but we are certainly not groupies. We are here for the music, and having sex with the musicians would be the last thing we aim for. We just want to talk with First Order and get to know them more."

"Very noble goals, dear," Rey sighed, placing a cigarette in her mouth. She was getting annoyed by herself. "I you excuse me, I have more important things than discussing the definition of groupies with teenagers. See you in the crowd."

Rey slowly walked away, and she heard all the sentences starting with _'that bitch'_. She knew she behaved awful, but her envy carried her away. She took one last look at that pefectly glowing girl, and she didn't even dare peek in the mirror she passed. She knew she looked nothing like them, and no matter how much she wished for the spotlight, she spent enough time in the industry to know that the girls like her are only appreciated in the background. She burned all the songs she wrote ages ago. 

The next thing she felt was Revan's arm looping into hers. He guided her to a corner in the pub and he grabbed both of her shoulders. 

"Rey, I am going to vomit."

"That's fine, but keep your distance."

"No, you don't understand. I am very-really-fucking afraid. I can't go on stage."

He really did look too pale. Rey never had to deal with stage fright before. Things were too easy with Finn.

"Look, Revan, there is really nothing to worry about. You play great, and the show will go just fine."

"But what if I fuck up? What if I am out of tune, or I have nothing to play the moment the song starts? Everyone will remember it, Paige would include it in her article and people would only come to our concert to have a fucking laugh at Woodstock! I can't do this."

"You can do it. I believe in you. Zannah and Ben believe in you too. Those girls waiting just outside backstage are believeing in you too."

"Rey. Did you.. Did you just say that there is a group of girls waiting of _me_?"

Rey sighed. She should have started with this. Her lips curled into a reassuring, almost motherly smile, and she patted his back awkwardly. 

"There is. And you better show them, Paige Tico and everyone else in this goddamn shithole that you can play the angels down from the sky. Drink a shot and get ready. We don't have that much time left."

"Maybe you should start drinking too. Just to loosen up a bit."

"I am surprised you have great ideas too, Revan," Rey smiled, already heading to the bar. 

She's going to drown her jealousy in tequila. She ordered three shots, and she drank them in a blink. A man at the bar looked at her with such fascination that Rey finally felt special for a minute. He bought her more drinks, and Rey got drunker and drunker with every minute passing. 

She was already almost blackout drunk by the time the first band stopped playing. She headed to the changing room after she refused the second marriage proposal of her patron, but she bumped into Ben on the way. She almost fell over her own feet, but he grabbed her by the waist. 

He studied her face with amusement, and his lips curled into a lopsided grin. 

"Rey, are you drunk?" he asked her, suppressing a laugh. The echoes of it were still lurking on the edges on his lips, and this was the time Rey realised how attractive he is. 

_Oh, fuck_. She drank herself into a hopeless romantic again. She tried to hide her violent blush with a frown. 

"Maybe. Are you not?"

 _Stupid, dumb, idiot, fool._ She's making fun of herself. 

"No, I am certainly not. I am going on stage in ten minutes."

"You could use some alcohol. I bet you won't even last five shots of vodka."

"Is this a challenge?" he questioned her with a full blown, smug smile. 

"Absolutely. Ben Solo, I am challenging you for a drinking contest. You won't leave Carbon Whatever sober."

"Then I will accept."

He peeled his fingers off her, and Rey missed his grip already. She knew that she shouldn't catch feelings for him because she's going to land painlessly on the cold, hard floor of reality, but she was already falling. She admired his wide grin until he disappeared. 

The concert itself was a blur. She somehow found Hux, and she survived it while leaning on him, but she remembered that Revan's drumplay was immaculate. She's going to congratulate him after she sees Ben fail miserably in their little race.

She was waiting outside backstage when she saw that perfect redhead swaying her hips inside the changing room. Revan was all over her, but Ben escaped the moment she spotted Rey. 

"I see you've got company," she said with an edge in her tone. Lucifer was probably writing her name on Hell's guestlist in that very moment. 

"Yeah, she sneaked inside while we were playing. Her friends are currently interrogating Zannah on what she uses for her hair. It's madness."

"Then I guess we _really_ should get drunk."

Ben flashed her a faint smile, already inching closer to the bar. He returned with ten little glass on a tray, packing five of them on her side of the table. 

"You said five shots of vodka, right?" he asked with amusement in his voice. Rey was too drunk for this. 

"I said, but we should already count my part."

"So you are the reason while half of the booze is gone."

"Very funny, Ben," Rey muttered, raising one of the shot glasses. She stopped it mid air, glaring into his eyes. "I have to apologise to you. For attacking you in your own house and accusing you."

He downed two shots before opening his mouth, but the edges of it curved upwards. She probably broke the ice. 

"Don't apologise. You were right, I did take that money and I did cocaine, but I was too defensive. I should thank you for checking up on me."

Rey cracked a small smile before drinking her shot, but she knew she won't leave him be for long. She has to make him understand that what he's doing to his body is wrong. She was interrupted by a heavy hand grabbing her shoulder. She looked up after spitting out half the vodka. It was her almost-husband. 

"Here you are," he yelled, sitting down next to her. "I missed you so much. I thought you left me."

"Do you know each other?" Ben questioned them carefully. He raised a wary brow at Rey. 

"I got to know her an hour ago. Lovely girl, but she refused to be my wife."

"That is truly a shame. The two of you would be the perfect couple."

"I know, right? I fell in love with her the moment she drinked her tequila without lemon."

Rey was fuming. Her eyes were darting between the stranger and Ben, and she saw the suppressed laugh on the latter's face. _That fucking traitor._ She truned to her suitor, ready to shout his head off. 

"I am very sorry, dear-"

"John."

"Yes, John. Hi. I refused you two times already, and I would do it again any time. I thought you would understand that I don't want to do anything with you. Thank you for the drinks, but please, leave me alone."

"Darling," the man looked at her, holding her gaze with a violent heat. "Are you dating someone else?"

"And what if she's taken?" Ben interjected. "Rey is a very faithful woman, and I doubt that she would give everything up for a bar-fling."

"That is nice. But you should see reason, my love. You would have-"

"John, Rey is not interested in you. Go away before you humiliate yourself even more."

John muttered something under her breath, but he stumbled away. A triumphal smirk appeared on Ben's face. He raised up a shot and drank it with a very elegant motion. Maybe even too sophisticated for a place like this. 

"At least John thinks that I have a love life."

"You might as well get someone by the end of the night. Maybe we should leave before you get another suitor."

"No fucking way, Ben Solo. I won't leave until someone drags us back to the motel."

It took half an hour for Rey to reach an almost blackout state. Ben was moderately drunk too, but he was more amused by her behaviour than dizzy. She gave up after chugging two glasses of beer and another few shots of tequila. If she won't die tonight from alcohol poisoning, then she will live forever.

Ben insisted heading to their lodging after she almost tripped on her feat while just simply standing. He dragged her out somehow, and he did a good job maintaining both of their balance. He stopped after ten minutes of walking, and he leaned to a wall. 

"Are you alright?" Rey asked him, but she had a hard time not falling. _God, she was too drunk._

"Not really. I think I'm going to throw up."

"You too?"

"That's the kind of sympathy I need, thank you."

He kneeled down, and Rey was quick to follow him. She pulled his hair back while he gave everything out, stroking his head and whispering comforting words to him. She really got the hang of babysitting drunk people. She raised his head up once he was done, handing him a handful of tissues. 

"I think I won," she chuckled, but she was still caressing his back. 

"We're not even halfway there yet. We'll decide when we get back."

"About getting back. I think we are going in the wrong direction. Just a guess."

"I remember this store. We are just fine."

"Yes, I remember it too. We passed it when we entered the town, but the motel is in the other way."

"Rey, you are drunk. I don't trust you. We are going this way."

"Then I shouldn't trust you either. You just threw up. I am kind of sober, so-" she almost fell, but Ben grabbed her by the waist. "-you can believe me."

"Sure I will. We can go your way, but I am going to do something very bad to you if we get lost."

"I can't wait," Rey said in a flirty tone. She really needs to calm down. She needs a slap and an eight hour praying session for her sinner soul.

Ben smiled, and he started to guide her by her waist. They were slowly but surely heading back to the motel, finally finding the right direction.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am here again with a very short and uneventful chapter, but I plan the next to be packed with action. Until then, I hope you will enjoy this too!

The next morning was a nightmare. 

Rey felt like she just died ten times, but got resurrected for more torment. Her room reeked of alcohol, and she remembered that she had to be carried back by Ben on the last few minutes of their little adventure. 

Apparently, he stayed the night. 

She felt one strong and heavy arm on her stomach. Her bare stomach. She sat up with a frightening speed, knocking down her new roommate's body off hers. 

_What the hell happened after she blacked out?_

She flipped through all the possible scenarios that could have happened last night. She immediately crossed out the possibility of them having sex. Ben wouldn't take advantage of her. He seemed like a gentlemen in his own rude and standoffish way. 

She felt his body move next to hers. Ben opened his eyes lazily, propping his head up on one arm, but he almost fell right back into sleep. 

"Good morning," Rey said with a firm tone to wake him up. 

"Hey."

"Do you have any idea why my shirt is missing?"

He rolled over to face her, and a violent blush spread on his face the moment he laid his eyes on her. She was sitting there in her bras after all, and she happened to chose a deep red one for yesterday. She didn't expect any action, but she went with that just in case. 

She regretted her decision in that moment. 

"I do, actually. I may or may not have threw up on your shirt, and you needed to change. Apparently, it did not happen."

"Thank god. I expected the worse."

The sudden realisation dawned on his face. He finally understood what she was trying to get to. 

" _No, no, no,_ nothing like that. I would never. Even if you were fully conscious," Ben stammered, opening his mouth to continue. "I know what's off limits and wrong-"

"That's great," Rey interrupted her. She tried to act though, but her heart missed a beat from his words.

"Still, I need to clarify that-"

"It's fine, Ben. If you don't mind, I have to kick you out. I want to have a shower and freshen up, so.."

"Yeah," he said, jumping up form the bed and making his way out of the motel room. "Have a nice day. I mean, we will meet again shortly, I guess. Bye."

Rey waited until he stumbled out and closed the door behind him. 

She hoped that the others had a more enjoyable morning, because she just got her confidence shattered into a million little pieces.

She stripped from the remaining of her clothes and climbed into the shower, letting the cold water run down on her body. All her insecurities striked her at once. No one wants her. Her parents were right. They wanted to exchange her custody for money with a woman when she was a child, but they backed out the last minute. No one deserves a brat like her. 

Even Ben Solo knows it. 

She stayed under the water until she started shivering, but it was the last piece of her consciousness that pulled her out of the shower before she froze to death. 

She can't switch into catatonic again. She had a breakdown when she was touring with Finn, and he managed to pull her out of her stupor before she harmed herself. No one really knows her here, and it would paint an awful image of her. 

The woman who tries to help others, even though she can't even help herself. 

She looked into the mirror, watching the remnants of her mascara stream down her face. She started to laugh at herself. 

She really _is_ a mess. She knew that she would have brushed all of this off, but her mother's phone call made her too vulnerable in the past few days. She has to conceal her emotions. She has to tame them somehow. 

She reached for her pants, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from a pocket and lighting one. There is only a few things a cigarette can't fix. 

***

After packing up, Rey wobbled out into the small garden part of the motel. She saw Zannah sitting at a table, searching through a takeout menu, and her stomach was quick to let her know that she should eat something. She smiled at the singer, settling next to her. 

"I am ordering something to eat. Where were you last night?" she asked Rey, raising a brow at her. "We were looking for you and Ben."

"We were drinking," Rey answered, shifting in her seat and pretending to be busy reading the menu.

"We saw that part, but then you disappeared and I only saw Ben dragging you into your room in a bridal carry."

"We were drinking a lot."

Zannah flashed her a small smile. "I hope he was smart enough to do appropriate things."

"Of course he was. He's not Revan, after all."

"That's true. Luckily, he got his own entertainment for the night."

"What? I hope he didn't seduce one of those poor girls."

"He sure did. Speaking of them, they are coming."

Rey turned around, only to find herself facing that gorgeous redhead from yestarday. Of course she would be here. She raised her brows in the most condescending way possible, but she was sure she looked like she swallowed a rat. 

"Good morning," the girl chirped, throwing herself into Revan's lap. "Are you ordering? I'm starving. Can you please read the menu for me?"

It took Rey a few seconds to realise that she was talking to her. How old is she? Six?

"I'm sure you can read it yourself," she said, placing the cardboard piece on the table. 

Revan was fidgeting nervously. Rey was curious to see how this would unfold. He didn't seem that pleased with the girl. 

"Poppy, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think it's time for you to leave. We are hitting the road in half an hour, right?"

"Yeah," Zannah nodded, suppressing a smile. "We are only ordering to have some food while we travel."

"Then I should really get going," Poppy sighed, hopping up. "It was nice meeting all of you."

Revan exhaled all the air from his lungs the moment she left, burying his face in his palms. 

"Fucking finally," he mumbled. "I though I couldn't get rid of her."

"What happened?"

"I started talking to her, right? She seemed nice and fuckable, but when we came back, she started to talk about her life more. Then she told me that he would have loved being Ben's one night stand more, but she passed out before I could kick her out."

It was awful to laugh, but Rey and Zannah were wheezing and snorting by the time Revan finished telling the story. He pressed his mouth into a pouty frown, crossing his arms before his chest. 

"Thank you very much, girls. This is excatly what I need. It's not like my masculinity got wounded or anything."

"You will get used to it, darling. One day, you'll just laugh at the rejections," Rey panted, but she was still laughing. 

"No one rejects me. I guess I need to find someone else tonight."

"Or you could just even write 'dumb and horny' on your forehead. That will do the trick."

"You are awful, Zannah. And you too, Rey. I hope you won't get laid in the next ten years."

"At least we won't get mistaken by our bandmates."

"You know what? I am going home and I will leave everyone here. Find a new car and a new drummer."

"Maybe we should get someone who looks just like Ben. We won't have any trouble in the future then."

Rey and Zannah were still laughing when Revan stormed off. And they were still wheezing when Hux came to them with their payment for last night. Rey flipped through the little black book that documented all their finances, and an envelope fell into her lap. 

She opened it, and she pulled out a letter, and a few hundred dollar bills. She folded out the paper and started reading it. 

_"Sorry for stealing money. I hope I can make up for it._

_You local asshole"_

She slid the letter into her pocket with a wide smile. 

Maybe she didn't fuck up that much with Ben. 

She has to talk to him, and this time, they won't get drunk.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you will enjoy this chapter! Don't worry, nothing will be this easy for our lovebirds. I also plan on venturing into everyone's past a bit more in the future. See you next time!

The next pub was a bit classier than Carbon Score. Neon signs were everywhere, and the smoke and dim lighing that filled the place gave it a mysterious vibe. It shouted that Finn Hendrix was here, a huge poster with his signature hung on a purple wall. It really suited his taste.

Rey sighed. She really needed to call him. She missed his stupid voice, and she wanted to catch up with his progress on going straight. She really considered bringing him to Los Angeles with herself, but that leech Jeffery protested, of course. He only sees the money in Finn. 

She placed a cigarette in her mouth, and she wobbled to the bar, ready to drink her fourth coffee this day. She really felt like shit, and she was sure that she would get a nicotine and caffeine overdose by the end of the day. A dumb, but very fitting way to die. 

"Hair of the dog?" Rey chuckled at Ben as she reached the bartender. She ordered her coffee and sat down on a bar stool. 

"Only to combat the stage fright. But I am getting very sick by the taste of alcohol."

"Please, don't throw up again. Also, where the hell did you put my shirt? I couldn't find it anywhere."

Ben's lips curved into a grin. "I have no idea, but Revan is eyeing us, so I would appreciate if you wouldn't mention it any further."

Rey shot him a deathly glare, but she forgot that he couldn't see it through her sunglasses. She gulped down the rest of her coffee, letting the bitterness awoke her senses. She felt like she floted above the ground, and she still hadn't recovered from the stupid little breakdown she suffered through this morning. 

"Is there a Rey Johnson here?" the bartender shouted right in her face, holding up a telephone.

"It's me."

"Great. Someone's looking for you."

Rey held the red receiver to her ears. She fucking hoped that she will get good news. 

"Hi, Rey. It's Chase."

She immediately recognised her uncle's deep voice, but she had a hard time understanding him through the crackling of the line.

"Hi," she said as emotionless as possible. He was the family lawyer, after all. She might receive bad news. "Is there something wrong?"

"There is, actually. You father passed away this morning. Helen would like you to come home to discuss the funeral and his will. She had nothing fancy in mind, but she still needs your financial support."

Rey's gaze fixated on a bottle of vodka. She had no intention of drinking it, but she still needed an image to hold onto. Her fingers turned white from squeezing the phone. 

"I understand if it's a lot to process right now," Chase soothed in an almost fatherly tone. "I can call you back later. I only knew this number because of a flyer I got for your band's tour. We can duscuss everything later if you give me a number."

"No, it's fine. I don't know the motel's number, but you can give me yours."

She lost it. She was floating again, spiraling into despair. Her father was always the lesser evil, and she might even loved him. She couldn't comprehend the fact that he was gone. 

"How?" she muttered. 

"He was in pain. I know Helen reached out to you, but I know my sister and her style. I don't blame you, but you should have said your goodbyes to him. He got better a few days ago, but I guess not better enough. Your help would be very crucial, Rey. And it would be nice seeing you."

"I.. I think it would be great, yes. Very nice. Could you give me your number? The band is starting in a few minutes, and I better get going."

Rey scribbled the numbers into her notebook, and she gave back the phone to the bartender. 

She felt nothing. 

She expected a glimpse of grief, tears, even, but nothing came. 

She bought a bottle of vodka for the night, and retreated to the backstage. She gave the band a half hearted motivational speech, and she waited out the concert itself with Hux. She congratulated them after it ended, but the only thing she could focus on was the bottle of booze burning her side. She wanted to get back as soon as possible to drink herself into a stupor. At least she would feel something, then.

***

Rey picked the phone up as soon as she entered her room, dialing Chase's number. She twisted the cap of the vodka off with her teeth, and she took a few swigs before her uncle picked up the phone. 

"Hi, Chase. It's Rey. I was thinking if you could give me more information. About the funeral, the expenses, and everything else. Maybe even dad's exact diagnosis."

"Yeah, sure. He had lung cancer for the past five years."

She didn't know. They didn't even bother telling her. Helen acted like it was a new thing when she called her.

"He died exactly at nine in the morning. The funeral depends on your support, but we plan it to take place as soon as possible. His will was opened in the afternoon, you inherited a decent sum of money and some jewelry from the family."

"I may be dumb, but I don't get one thing. I inherited money, but Helen still needs my support."

"Exactly. That amount is locked away somewhere, and only you can access it. He intended to give it to you on your eighteenth birthday, but he had no opportunity since you ran away."

"So we're not even that broke," she mused, bringing the bottle to her lips.

"No, you're practically rich now."

"I can't even imagine how much Helen tried to convince him to release the money early just to pry it out if my hands."

She earned a scolding scoff from Chase, but he mumbled agreeingly. He might be a lawyer, but he knew his sister very well. 

"That might be the case," he continued, and Rey heard the rustling of papers through the line. "I know you're busy with the tour, but you should really come home. You wouldn't even have to stay with her. Jodie moved out recently, you can live in her room for a while."

"Thank you, but I really can't. Get the money, cut down the amount Helen needs and send it to me somehow."

"That's impossible. Only _you_ can get it. The bank needs your fingerprint for confirmation that it's in the right hands."

"I'm sorry, Chase, but I can't abandon the band. You have to wait at least until the twentieth. Then I'm completely free."

"I guess we can manage until then," he sighed into the phone, but Rey knew that he wasn't done. "And Rey, please, take care of yourself. Don't drink that much. You know where it leads."

"Why do you think I am drinking?"

"Love, it reeks through the wire. Stay safe."

They ended the line, and Rey marched to the pool. She threw a floating bed to it, avoiding the disgusting water completely, and she nested on it. She was staring at a sinking bandaid.

She drank half of the bottle by the time she heard footsteps approaching. _Fucking great_. She can't even get drunk on her own anymore. 

"What's the occasion?" she heard Ben's cheerful voice. She peeked up to him. He was in a swimming short, and a crimson blush spread on her face by the sight of his chiseled torso. 

"My father died."

"Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. Do you need anything?"

"I don't think so." She raised the bottle. "Can you please talk to me? I need to think of something else."

"Yeah, sure," he groaned, descending into the pool. He swam to her, resting his face on the side of the floating bed. "How did he die?"

"Something else, Ben. Like dogs. Or anything, just not my family."

"What do you think about the show?"

"It was great. Really. You played nicely."

An awkward silence fell on them. Ben probably knew that she was bullshitting. He noticed it earlier that something was wrong, but she brushed it off. She really shouldn't have. She felt like he is the only one who would listen to her.

She sat up, turning her body to face him. 

"Lung cancer," she sighed. It might be better if she gets over with it. "He had been suffering for five years, but my mother only called me a week ago. He died this morning. My uncle called when we were in the pub."

"I'm sorry. Were you close to him?"

"I though you know about my relationship with my family."

"I don't. I just thought that everyone has some skeletons in their closet, but I guessed it right. Sorry about that."

"I sure do have some fucking skeletons." She saw the regret on his face. She took a sip from the liquid courage. "I liked him. He was always nicer to me, but still an alcoholic, so he treated me just as bad as my mother when he was drunk. He was not a bad person, but he took the wrong path."

She sighed. A few memory resurfaced, and tears started to prickle her eyes. 

"They battled a lot with child support for custody. He was always the one to somehow win me back. One day, they found me a suitable family. A better one, I guess. I spent a month with them, but my mother made sure to make it a nightmare. I met him once at the time, and when I asked him if he was mad, he told me that he was glad to see me happy with them. My mother made a deal with the family that she would sell me to them, but she changed her mind in the last moment and made false accusations about them. Supposedly, I was denied food almost every day and the father tried to violate me on multiple occasions."

"They didn't even question it? There was a reason they took you away from home."

"No. No matter how much my new family objected, my parents won the lawsuit. She showed around old wounds that I had, and even though I cried my throat out, the judge still believed my mother."

"I'm sorry. It must have been though," he comforted her, wiping down a stray teardrop from her cheek. She huffed out a bitter laugh. "How come you don't hate alcohol? I mean, I would after a childhood like this."

"I did. But when I got drunk for the first time, I kind of understood them. I would have drank too in their place. I was an awful kid." Ben shot her a disapproving glance, nudging her leg gently with his elbow. "Fuck, you came for a swim and here I am, boring you with my miserable life."

"No, I know a few things about fucked up families too."

"You. The son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. I hardly believe that."

"Of course you wouldn't. No one sees behind the cameras." Rey felt the bitter tone of his voice. She regretted her remark immediately. "I know that they seem perfect, but they have been arguing over everything for the past thirty years. You read headlines like 'The love that outlasted a war', but in reality, everything went wrong when I was born."

"Don't say that."

"I will, because it's the truth. And don't even get me started on my uncle. Giving me my first dose of herion, then acting the saint and trowing me into rehab."

"Oh my god. We are both miserable."

Ben flashed her a small smile, but his eyes strayed past her. He grabbed the bottle of vodka unconsciously. 

"I would have forgiven them, you know. I knew that I was in a dark place, and Switzerland really helped me, but they never visited me. Even Zannah and Revan saved up to come there, but my fucking millionare parents were unable to say hi. Or even call me. And when I came home, they acted all mighty and wise. They thought that they knew everything about me just because I overdosed. They didn't even noticed that I got addicted to it."

"What was it like?" Rey asked him after a minute of silence. She reached out for his hand, squeezing it.

"Herion? I am not going to lie. It was awesome. I felt like I finally found something to love. I got up every morning just to stick a needle into my arm, but at the time, it still felt like I had a reason to live. I wrote my best songs then, and I even enjoyed working with Dameron," he stopped for a second, raising his gaze to meet hers. "But then I started to take too much. There were days when I had to shoot it into my tight because I was bleeding out of my arms. I felt nothing then, and no matter how determined I was to stop, I couldn't. I thought that I was just falling asleep when I overdosed. I drifted off a lot, but that time, my heart stopped. Poe gave me CPR. I would have died without him."

"I'm glad you didn't," Rey said, smiling softly at him. His own plush lips curved into a small grin too.

"Me too."

"But also, I have to scold you. And not because of the drugs. You are fucking stupid. You expected to get away from everything by just changing your name? People recognise you, Ben."

"I have to admit it, I didn't think that part through. I planned on staying out of the spotlight. I even contemplated that I would study something useful. Then First Order formed, and you came, and now there is literally no point in hiding who I really am."

"Past saving. Very dumb."

"You are a brat. Don't make me pull you into the water."

"Don't you dare try, Ben Solo. I can't swim."

"Even better."

He flipped the bed over, but she landed securely in his hands. The empty bottle floated on the water besides them, but Rey's thoughts were completely clouded by _him_. His smell, her nails digging into his back, and the warmth of his body, even though it was freezing in the pool. 

"Happy now?" she chuckled, and her lips quirked into a fond smile. 

"Very much. I might as well teach you how to swim now."

"Then I have to teach you have to behave decently with females. Besides, I am fully clothed."

"It's already wet. But if it really bothers you, you can take everything off. I won't look."

"Asshole," she sighed. Her voice came out raspier than she wanted. She showed him in the chest. 

He strated laughing. A full-blown, throaty laugh that bounced back to Rey from the walls surrounding them. She swam in his laugh.

The butterflies started to fly around in her stomach, making her go mad. Fucking insects. 

They have been staring at each other for a few minutes when Ben started to move. He placed one hand at her nape, pulling her closer until their mouths met halfway. He pressed his soft lips against hers, and they both let out a small laugh when they finally realised what was happening. He gently licked on the seams of her lips, nudging it with his tongue to open, but he broke the kiss the moment a door opened. He dropped her, and the next thing Rey felt was the cold water surrounding her whole body. 

_She was fucking sinking._

No matter how much she tried to fight for her life, she hit the bottom of the pool too quickly. Her lungs felt like they were squeezed with barbed wire. She really _should_ quit smoking.

Ben's arms cradled her up again, swimming with her body to the surface. 

"What the hell was that?" she shouted at him, hitting every inch of his body that she could reach. 

"Revan. I am very sorry, but I just saved you reputation. You are already famous for fucking all you clients."

"I didn't! I mean, it probably doesn't sound too convincing right now, but I didn't!"

"I know. Sorry. Maybe we should head back. To our own rooms. Before someone else catches us."

He helped Rey climb out of the pool, and he held her by the waist until they arrived at her door. He was ready to leave, but she grabbed his arm. 

"Thank you. For listening to me."

"Anytime, love."

He bent down to place a quick kiss on her lips before parting ways. He turned around one more time with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

"Good night, Rey."

It sure will be a good fucking night.

She cahnged out of her clothes and dried herself, but Ben's words echoed in her mind.

_You are already famous for fucking all you clients._

She hated it. It really _is_ a man's world out there, but she had to change that. She won't get degraded for her success. 

Even though she's currently planning on shagging one of her clients.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am truly sorry for the quality of this chapter, but I've been heeling a bit unmotivated in the past few days. I hope you'll like it anyway! Thank you for the kudos, it really warms my heart!

Rey had trouble sleeping that night. She kept waking up to remind herself that everything that happened yesterday was real. 

She still managed to wake up rested. Serene, even. 

She finally started to feel. She cried while showering, thinking about her dad and how much she missed him. The butterflies in her stomach started to flutter with excitement when she saw Ben drinking his coffee next to the pool, and she ducked befind the curtains when he almost caught her staring. She felt like a teenager in love, but to be honest, she never had the time to act young. She saw the vibrant colours of the world again, and she was ready to finally enjoy one of the concerts of First Order. 

She was packing her bags when someone knocked on her door. She folded her last shirt, placing it down on her bed, then she walked to the door. Ben greeted her when she opened it.

"Hi," he greeted her, but he kept his distance. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure. Is there something wrong?"

"No.. Yes. It's about last night."

Rey's gigantic smile froze on her face. He regretted it. She got her hopes high again. 

"I want to apologize," he continued, rubbing his nape nervously. "I shouldn't have taken advantage of your state. You were obviously way too drunk to think about the consequences, and while I was sober, I failed to act the right way. I understand if you regretted it, and I wouldn't hold a grudge against you if we stop this thing right now."

"How long did you practice this?" Rey asked, biting the inside of her cheeks to stop herself fro laughing. 

"I didn't.. Wait. You're making fun of me."

"Of course I am. I wouldn't have kissed you back, and I quite liked it, to be honest."

He looked like a stag staring in the headlights of a car. He furrowed his brows, and he opened his mouth three times before actually speaking. 

"Then I'd like to take you out somewhere. Is tonight alright for you?"

"Perfect," Rey reassured him. Ben still stared at her like a newborn lamb, but at least she saw some confidence on his face. 

Rey left her room with an even better spirit. She didn't even care about her awful headache, nor her puffy eyes. Something about this situation made her feel like a teenage girl once again. 

Even the call from her mother couldn't shake her mood.

"I understand that you can't just jump on a plane anytime," Helen sighed, and Rey heard the sizzling of a dry cigarette. 

"I am very sorry Helen, did I hear that right? I am getting some sympathy?"

"Don't be silly, Rey. I know that I didn't make the best choices in my life, but I tried to give the best for you always. Maybe this is an opportunity for us too. To connect."

"I don't know. I can't just forget twenty-six years of neglect."

"I know. We messed up." She stopped for a minute. "Come home. Stay after the funeral. I know I can't make everything up to you, but I really need you."

"I can't. Woodstock is going to mean a huge step for the band, and I need to help them."

"And what about helping me?"

Rey drew a small breath. She's doing it again. She's playing with her conscience until she gives in and does everyting her mother desires. 

"Are there any details about the funeral?" Rey asked, shifting the subject. 

"No, but I will call. Can I reach you at this number?"

"We are moving forward in a few hours. I know yours, I'm going to ring you the moment we arrive."

She wouldn't. 

"Take care, Rey. I hope we will meet soon."

She ended the line without saying goodbye. She had to reming herself that she was doing the right thing, even though her heart ripped into a million pieces with every ill word she said to Helen. She spent nights wondering about what would have happened is she stayed at home. At the time, running away seemed like the best option, but she questioned her decisions from the past. 

She packed her things up, making sure to leave the room as soon as possible before anyone else would call her. 

***

It was the first night she finally had the mind to pay attention to the music. 

The gig reminded her of the first time she saw First Order. They were just as electric, and the audience seemed to appreciate the band just as much as they deserved it. Rey was sure that they are going to make an awesome show at Woodstock too. 

She greeted them with a huge smile in the backstage. 

"Look at you," Zannah giggled. "Smiling and sober. Are you in love?"

"Obviously. With your music. It was great. And I finally mean it."

"Can we go?" Ben asked her after the others were well out of earshot. "I saw a restaurant on the way here. I already called a taxi."

"Great. Let's go before anyone notices us slipping away."

"I think it's suspicious enough that we don't try to kill each other every minute. Zannah is giving me _those_ looks all the time."

"Really?" Rey laughed, glancing up at him. She felt like even looking at him was illegal.

"She can't be fooled. She's like a sniffer dog. She finds out everything."

They almost left the pub when they heard someone shouting to them. Rey turned around, finding herself facing Revan.

"Where are you going?" 

"To the store," Ben said before Rey could open her mouth. 

"Perfect. I need a few things-"

"Tell me and we will get it."

"No, I'll go with you. Just in case."

Ben shook his head, massaging the bridge of his nose. He mumbled something about a reservation and how he's going to kill Revan is his sleep, and they climbed into the taxi. Zannah joined them too, and Rey subtly cheked her out time to time, ready to witness one of _those looks_ she liked to gift to Ben. 

The closest store was a nonstop supermarket, big enough to get lost. They escaped Zannah and Revan, pretending to look at family sized cheese puffs. 

"How long have you known them?" Rey asked Ben while admiring a huge packet of gummy bears. 

"I met Zannah when we were sixteen years old. I'm not sure how she survived this long next to me," he said, putting the bag of sweets into his basket. "I actually don't even remember meeting Revan."

"I don't believe that. I will be forever scarred from our first encounter."

"He can be an asshole, but he's a great guy. I don't even want to imagine where I would be without them."

They settled at a bench outside the store after paying for their stuff. Someone carefully carved in dozens of _fuck yous_ into the wood, and Ben made every effort to scratch them in deeper. Rey watched him with amusement while munching on the gummy bears, and his lips curved into a small smile when he caught her staring. 

"I was thinking," he started, still tracing the kind words. "I though about this whole thing. Us. Dating. I don't want to ruin your reputation, so I guess it would be great if we keep this a secret."

"I can make my own decisions, you know. I know a lot of people are saying that I achieved everything by spreading my legs, but we both know that's just gossip."

"You are smart, Rey. You know better than me."

She shook her head, gently hitting his shoulder with hers. "I already told you, but I will again. You are dumb. Let me do my thing, and be the jinx when we break up."

He looked around, then he placed a small kiss on her lips. Rey needed to get used to the sensation again. She had boyfriends before, but being a manager almost meant vowing celibacy. She had zero time to take care of herself, and keeping up a relationship was hard enough without her duties. 

They called another taxi, and Rey finally caught Zannah shooting a knowing look at Ben. He rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. Rey decided that she could stare at Ben Solo smiling all day.


End file.
